Always Daddy’s Girl even when She is now a Lola

Taking Manhood Back

Always Daddy’s Girl even when She is now a Lola

Our 2nd winner for our Father’s Day Blog Entry:

This Sunday is Father’s Day, and the thought that I no longer have a father to greet makes me sad. After reading Katrina’s Blog, I just cried, cried and cried. I too, miss my Dad. I am not much of a writer. More so, I don’t even know how to blog.

I decided to do this to honor a man who greatly influenced my life, my father: “ALING TEODORO”

It has been 25 years. He was 69; that was in 1986. He died of cancer of the pancreas. He was very simple and very affectionate, and was the most religious person I know. I would always see him on his knees, every morning and night. This guy loved me so much, and I could talk to him about anything under the sun. How he loved it when I would express myself as a young girl, and just say what I thought and felt..we could just “discuss and have an exchange of ideas for the sake of argument” (that’s what he would always say)!

He would end by saying, “That’s only for the sake of argument, but it doesnt mean I agree with you, ok?” then we would just laugh. We can talk for HOURS, and HOURS! I miss his gentle manner of speech, and his humor. Maybe, to put it simply, I miss my fellowship with him. As a young girl, I spent so much time with him just sitting and talking.

MY GREATEST FEAR WHEN I WAS A YOUNG GIRL WAS LOSING THIS MAN, MY FATHER! I would always sit by the window and wait for him to come home, holding his slippers. As soon as he’d get inside the house, I would take off his shoes and socks, then put his slippers on. He claimed that he broke his back and had a slipped disc injury when he stooped down to carry me. He couldn’t bend over for as long as I can remember.

The highlight of my day as a young girl was waiting for him, running to meet him, putting his slippers on and finally jumping up onto his lap! I remember tears would just fall down my cheeks as I waited by the window, and I would get scared when it was getting dark and he hadn’t come home yet. The fact that he was way older than I was and would surely die ahead of me was a thought that scared me as a child. Dying ahead of him was my deepest desire as a young girl. I vividly remember that I would, consistently, leave my bedroom door and his ajar, just so i would hear him snore in his sleep and I can run to wake him up if I needed to! When he would stop snoring, I would quietly come near him and check if he is breathing. I would sleep with my ears open for years!

YES I WAS A DADDY’S GIRL! My office mates would tease me, because he would even pick me up from the office. In high school and college, we would have movie dates and I would always look forward to it. He never missed bringing me to a studio for my yearly birthday photo and would comb my hair before having the shot. My childhood was full of love notes, newspaper clippings, surprise “sundos” in my school gates! I can still imagine seeing the shadow of his head as he waited for me in my kindergarten prep and elementary school windows! He was always there!

He mellowed down when I got married. But again, his presence was still greatly felt. He would sneak in a good morning call daily and would just drop the call when he feels my husband is in the room. All these he would do as he arrived in his office. A daily dose of a quick “Ok ka?” would always wake me up in the morning, to a point where I was already getting annoyed. So annoyed that I once blurted, “I am now married and OLD! I am now 35 years old and not a baby anymore!”. He gently responded by saying “Even if you reach 50, you are still my sweet baby daughter and I will never tire of calling you”. He would always tell me to take care of my husband.. everyday. I guess that was his way of justifying his call sometimes. A smart guy he was, I realized as I think about him now.

A dreaded crisis came to our family in the later months of 1985. The man I greatly cared about was diagnosed with Cancer and was given five months to live. I, along with my five siblings, were all devastated as we all loved him so much. He loved all of us equally. We found out later on that he told each and everyone of us that we were his favorites and we were to keep it a secret!

Those five months, I realized, was the best time of our lives, not only personally but as a family. As all of us sought the reality of God in this circumstance. The Holy Spirit started working in our hearts. We also realized that we were all ignorant of God’s word, the Bible. God is truly alive and a great Father! My brother started having dreams of bible verses which we were to read.

In short, during those five final months: me and my husband, the next three brothers and their wives (one is now a pastor), my then single brother and single sister too got saved! Added to that, most of the family members of our spouses all received the Lord and all got baptized with the Holy Spirit! There were more than twenty of us in the clan including friends who got saved during that crisis! Yes, everyone of us were praying for God’s physical healing for the person we loved most, but we all realized, that God wants us to be spiritually healed first. He wants us to receive eternal life first!

Early part of 1986, my father received the Lord in his deathbed, and he heard angels singing and welcoming him. We were all in his deathbed and God’s presence was surely felt by all of us. It was a moment of rejoicing!
THE MOMENT I DREADED TO COME BECAME A MOMENT OF REJOICING AND CELEBRATION!

A greater Father pulled me through this time which I feared the most. As my physical father was taken, the True God revealed Himself to me as an ETERNAL FATHER!The night before my father died, I dreamt of myself as a young girl, with my head leaning on the lap of a man on a chair. I was seated on the floor and my head was on this man’s lap as he was gently stroking my hair. I felt peace and the greatest love of all: the love of an ETERNAL FATHER who will never leave me and forsake me!
I realized, what I feared the most, was the best thing that happened in my life! I now enjoy the fellowship of a Father who will always be there, for me. Someone who will never Die!

Estela Teodoro De Jesus: Now a Senior Citizen and is enjoying the love of a Father and Confident that I Am Still a Favorite of an Awesome Dad! Happy Fathers Day!

 

Comments are closed.