Foundations of a Strong Marriage
How we build our marriage is how we restore a marriage. Here are just some thoughts I have:
1. Trust – the foundation of any relationship is trust. Build the trust again in the relationship. If your spouse is repentant and humbling him/her self it would be great if you would give him/her a chance to build the trust in the relationship. Trust takes time but at least let your spouse built it again.
2. Vulnerability. Both of you should acknowledge your vulnerability to be tempted thus it would be wise to build boundaries and be accountable to each other. Open up to each other. Two months ago, I read the book Why I Stayed written by Gayle Haggard, wife of the famous pastor Ted Haggard on why she stayed and fought for the marriage even if Ted cheated on her. I recommend you read that book. It was when they started opening up and discussing the problems in their marriage that the path to restoration started.
3. Forgiveness. The words “I am sorry” and “I forgive you” is something that is missing in marriages today. I think those three words carry more weight than the word I love you. Forgive. Hard to do but you’ve got to do it because Christ himself forgave us, who are we not to forgive.
4. Grace. The grace to forgive and give this marriage another shot and the grace to depend on God to restore what once was broken.
Just a side note: It would take both parties to agree for the restoration to work out. You can’t work on this alone. Your spouse has to be on board with you.
Got questions? Post it at my formspring site, http://www.formspring.me/askpastordennis