How we Encourage Men to stay as Boys
I blogged yesterday about the phenomena of the Peter Pan syndrome where boys remain boys indefinitely. I have been getting questions/ letters now of experiences women are experiencing with their Peter Pans – whether it is their dad, uncles, brothers and cousins. But sometimes the reason this boys remain boys is because we unknowingly encourages them to be one.
1. We act as their financial saviors.
We have seen so many kids provide for their family not because daddy is sick but because he is lazy. The more we provide for them – the more we are telling them to stay as boys. Sometimes it is tough not to give especially if we see our parents or our brothers struggling with their finances BUT to give is to empower them and tell them that you don’t need to anything about your problem, I will solve it for you – I will live my life for you. In the end, we destroy them more than build them up.
2. We shelter men from failures.
Mommies, wives and girlfriends – make your boy fail sometimes. It is healthy. Failure is part of reality. All successful men have failed sometime in their lives. The road to success requires us men to experience some bumps. When the ladies in our lives try to shield us from the pain of failure ( which they would usually do because they are created to nurture), we tend to stay in the position of pain rather than getting up and doing something about it.
3. We marry them.
The third point is applicable to single ladies. The reason your boy remains a boy forever is because you married them thinking that the wedding ring might change it, or the baby might change it, or the constant nagging will….. it never works.
Boys who get married think they are now a man without doing any adjustments. They still waste their time playing video games, watch TV all night and never try to build on their marriage, family and finances. They fight for their time with their friends more than their time with his family. We then get into fights because you feel he doesn’t care. We regret getting married to this man.
Single ladies – you still have a choice. You don’t need to settle for boys. Dump the boys and wait for men to pursue you. Marry a boy then you could become his second mom.