The Day I Started Playing Relationships Fair

Taking Manhood Back

The Day I Started Playing Relationships Fair

Sorry if the title sounded unflattering on my part. But the recent happenings in my life made me realized that I haven’t played my past relationships right. Boyfriend-girlfriend relationships that is. I had around 5 relationships before, some lasted months, others years. But I felt like I did not start them off correctly.

We normally start out as friends all the time, I make it a point to get to know them better- however, there is one small thing that I didn’t do- that is to lay down my intentions before courting them. I never drew the line between friendship and courtship. If I’d like a girl, I would go into casual friendship, to a more intimate friendship (some call it M.U.) and before both of us know, I say the 3 words. Like a trap that both of us can never get out of. No preparation on both sides, we just, well, FALL.

God taught me many lessons during the time I ended my last relationship until now. One of these lessons is to play fair. This means that the man ought to lay down their intentions to the woman before they decide to take the relationship further; before the intimate conversations; before dating; before making actions that would otherwise defraud her if the intentions weren’t clear. This gives both parties time to lean back and reflect, to really pray for it and decide whether both of them are willing to enter this new season. This was never my style. I always loved to do courtship my own pace. God had to humble me many times before finally leading me to the woman I would eventually pursue.

Almost two weeks ago, I laid down my intention to an amazing woman. We’ve been close friends for quite some time but after months of praying and discerning, (trust me, it wasn’t easy) came the day I decided to play fair. That was the time I declared that I am going to play by God’s rules. Because now, I am giving the woman time to think it over and I am preparing her emotionally and even mentally to the change that courtship will bring. I told her that I want to get to know her in a different level and I am willing to wait and accept whatever decision she will make- favorable or not.

I know that because God led me to this decision, I am 200% sure that my intention of pursuing her is for her to hopefully become my wife someday. I don’t know what will happen, but one thing I know, is that I am determined to pursue her. I am enjoying this season a lot. It is different when you know that at the end of the day, your pursuit was started by God, sustained by God and eventually, will be finished by God. There are a lot of ways that men can start their pursuit of the woman they love, but I guess the lessons I have learned in the past led me to go this route.

I have always been praying that He writes my love story- I believed He would! Now, I’m enjoying the first chapter so much! Praise be to God, the author and “perfector” of our faith!

Val Baguios III is an IT Service Desk shift supervisor working in IOM (International Organization for Migration). One of his passions is discovering and sharing the vast wisdom that can be taken from the Bible and applying it on how we do work daily in the corporate world. You can visit his site Broken Mindset is driven by this truth, that if we renew our mindsets, the way we think and the way we approach things- not according to “worldly” standards but by the truth of God’s word- then, we become transformed individuals. Individuals who can rise up and make a difference- because that is what we are called to do.


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