I am writing here things that I am currently learning while being in a relationship. (Yes I am! With a beautiful God-fearing woman!)
Last weekend we were at a dinner with two of her mentors in church, a married couple. We were so blessed with what they had to impart for both of us. I encourage men who are in a relationship to voluntarily open your relationship to mentors- specifically married couples who can speak wisdom and advices to both of you. Seriously, you would never know when these words of wisdom will come in handy.
One of the things the couple mentioned that stuck in my head was this: “You guys should define who you are as a couple.”
They said, that this means defining what your values are as a couple. This is important so that you will not be swayed with other people’s perception of how both of you should be. Sort of like a “branding” for both of us, I guess. I am so blessed with a girlfriend who has the same convictions as me. So we went ahead and listed down (mentally) our values. To our surprise, majority c0incided! I realized that there are many things Christian couples might value but we just have to prioritize and focus more on what values really define us. This will also prepare us, should God allow us to pursue this relationship further, in marriage. Because by then, we would have solidly defined our priorities and focus.
Here are some of the things we value:
We value togetherness. We both value family time and we believe that spending quality and quantity time with the persons God has placed in your care are the best expression of love.
We value our spiritual family. We really appreciate how people in the church have guided us and we are committed to open up our lives to these people. We welcome advises, accountability and rebukes from people who are close to us and really knows us personally. We believe that these people will help spur us in love.
We value discipleship. Both of us realize the value of reaching out to people who needs Christ. Why? Because we are products of discipleship too! We know that discipleship is simply a response to what God has already given us. It is an overflow of love to other people. We pray that our relationship can be used by God mightily in discipling people.
We also listed some other stuff, I hope to share it here soon. With God’s help, our efforts and commitment to these values I believe this would help us focus on the right things as a couple. We are hoping and praying that this relationship will always please God and will be used by Him in whatever way He wants.
I encourage men who are in a relationship to take the lead and try listing down values that really define you as a couple.