In A Relationship: What You Are For

Taking Manhood Back

In A Relationship: What You Are For

This is my second post for the topic of being in a relationship. If you haven’t yet, please do check out my first post here.

Men should be in the lead in the relationship. This specially includes the subject of purity.

I don’t care if you are a church worker, a church leader or whatever, but what I do know is that purity is and will always be a major concern for ANY unmarried couple (I can only speak from my point of view, I’m sure married couples have purity concerns as well). By purity meaning keeping both yourselves sexually pure- physically and mentally in the context of your relationship.

And so, we talked about things that would help us keep our minds and body pure. So that whenever we worship God, our minds and our bodies can be pure and unblemished offering to Him- and we can please Him all the more. But unlike the usual “do-not-do-this” list, we decided to dwell and focus more on our “to-do” list. We defined what we are for more than what we are against. Prisoners focus on what are prohibited, while free men focus on what they ought to do. I think we ought to bring the “rules” mentality to another level by looking at ourselves as free men and taking the offensive stance for sexual purity.

Here are some of the things that we are for:

We are for discussing things about our discipleship groups. We are both leading discipleship groups and I noticed that discussing issues and concerns about how we lead men and women to Christ helps our mind focus on the things that really matter.

We are for discussing our passions and our love for our career. One of my favorite topics, actually. We find it energizing and encouraging to talk about our work and our passions in life. What we love to do. We give each other insights on work related issues. This helps us maintain excellence in wherever God has placed us in.

We are for discussing our values as a couple. Refer to my previous post here.

We are for praying together. For ourselves and for other too. She’s a prayerful person, she encourages me to pray a lot! We even have a prayer notebook uploaded and shared on Evernote, a mobile app, so we can see it and update it on the fly.

We are for talking about our personal walk with God. I really believed that in this season we are meant to help each other in our Christian walk. We are meant to encourage, rebuke and learn from each other in this area of our life.

Of course, we still defined what we are against- but the above list of what we are for is more important for us. These activities enables us to be busy talking and thinking about the things that are worthwhile and steer us away from the things that aren’t.

Of course, we are not perfect. There might be times (although we’re not hoping for it to happen), that we might fail. We are humans, we are not robots. But God has assured us that if we fail- we can come back to Him, repent and open ourselves, and become accountable to our mentors. This way we can be corrected and brought back to the right track.

Regardless if rules are to prohibit or to encourage, they are still hard. Without the grace of God, these remain as “good advices” -we need them, of course. In fact there are a lot of good advices for young couples like us scattered around the internet and everywhere. But more than good advices, we need the good news- that apart from the grace of God, we are nothing! We need to look at these rules on the lenses of God’s mercy and grace for both of us- individually. This way, the rules become mere reminders that we ought to please our God in everything we do.




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