Bullies, Gun Toting Dads and Genital Touching. What’s New?
After reading the news about the Colegio San Agustin (CSA) bully incident and the dysfunctional behavior of young men today, I am reminded of a blog I made about the WHY SOCIETY IS FAILING YOUNG BOYS. It goes back to who is modeling manhood to our young men?
His butt and genitals were often poked by one of his male classmates, his main tormentor. Then on August 30, after months of constant taunts and harassment, Jamie had enough. He stabbed one of the bullies with a ballpen and punched another. The incident escalated when the father of the classmate he punched rushed to his school, slapped and threatened him with what he recalled was a .45-caliber gun.
I don’t know if touching genitals and butts of other men is a common scenario in high school but for the bully – he thinks it’s normal.
While denying any participation, JB said the genital-touching incident was not a huge deal and was done normally among classmates.
“The touching of the genitals is…it’s not something that we made a big deal of…I see them do it to each other and it was okay. So, I really don’t understand why that incident happened,” he said
So the question is how do we solve the problem of bullying and dysfunctional male behaviors? The solution might not be that easy and fast but the only long term solution I could think of is for a group/tribe/collection of men who would model what manhood is all about. If we continue to celebrate a distorted view of manhood in our media (movies, publications and etc), and educate our young people in the wrong way – don’t expect the problem to die down.
Without better male role models in real life, guys become confused about what constitutes acceptable male behavior. They don’t recognize the images presented in video games, movies, television, and porn as caricatures.
Have you noticed how guys are being portrayed in movies lately? Unless you’ve been living under a rock you’ve seen at least one of these: Knocked Up, Failure to Launch, Hall Pass, Old School, or the Jackassseries.
All the leading male characters are presented as expendable losers usually incapable of taking responsibility for themselves, often plotting intricate but seldom realized plans to get laid, and generally running the opposite direction of any kind of commitment. Not only do they avoid the future, sometimes they attempt to re-live past glory in order to avoid living in the present. It seems these guys don’t have much value to contribute to society beyond their ability to entertain the other male characters, and of course, the audience.
This means guys aren’t sure what it means to be a man, that the people that need to be showing them the way aren’t available guides, and it’s affecting their ability to succeed. Fathers especially have dropped the ball;
In short, it goes back to our homes. The family is the basic unit of society. Make the family dysfunctional and everything else follows.