6 Ways Fathers Exasperate their Children
William Hendrisken suggests that there are six ways fathers can embitter their children:
1. By over-protection.
If you want to feminize your boy, over protect him. Don’t let him play. Control his wild side. Tell them not to run, not to jump, not to slide, not to climb the tree. I loved it how my dad would always say, “it’s just a scratch, it won’t kill you.” In a way, he was affirming my manhood. There is something about a boy who wants to be aggressive. As my daughter would say, ” Dad, boys play differently right?”
2. By favoritism
I have seen many old men crushed because their parents played favorites. You can never describe the pain and wound a man carries when he knows that he is not affirmed by his father.
3. By discouragement.
I’ve always been a Bobby Knight and Bobby Jaworski fan. They are coaches who would discourage you to motivate you. Sad to say, it doesn’t work that way. It is a good character in a movie but it never helps a man to mature in his masculinity. Fathers, speak words of life to your kids.
4. By forgetting that the child is growing up, has a right to have ideas of his own, and need not be an exact copy of his father.
Don’t let your son live your dreams. He doesn’t have to be a replica of YOU.
5. By neglect
We live in a fatherless generation. It is either dad is not at home or is mentally absent at home. The simple solution is to spend time with your kids.
6. By bitter words and outright physical cruelty.
More and more kids are growing up in an atmosphere of violence at home. The impact or the trauma experienced by the child is damaging.
So what do we do as fathers and men?
First, we have to remember that what we do as fathers have a great impact on our sons and daughters. You hold in your hand a sword. It can do either two things. It could sharpen or it could kill. Use your influence as a dad to sharpen and protect your kids and not kill them.