Husband Material

Taking Manhood Back

Husband Material

Our guest blogger today is Ching Custodio Bitoon

We girls have lists of what we want in a man, right? The criteria can be overwhelmingly tough to meet, but we deserve nothing less, and we girls know it. in fact, we can come up with a 100-point list of what we like and don’t like in a guy!

But let me tell you ladies and gentlemen that out of those hundred, there are but a few that truly counts. Before you think it’s impossible for a man to actually have these traits, hear me out: such guys exist. in fact, i’m married to one.

It’s time to bump up these characteristics to the top of the list. men, please be these for us.

1. He’s brave in where it counts

2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

My husband is no daredevil. He’s not into extreme sports, He wouldn’t speed up a car “just because”, He’s just not into those testosterone-loaded stuff ┬ábut he’s taken pretty big leaps in life, leaps that made me learn about real courage. When he decided to love and pursue me, he had no idea about whether or not I would love him back. When he proposed to me, he/we didn’t have enough money for the wedding but because he was brave, we’re now here, happily married with a baby on the way.

2. He’s secure about his manhood

There are a lot of “ang tunay na lalake” quotes today! really funny, but quite amiss of the real definition of manhood. A man can have the shiniest, fastest, most expensive sports car and still fall short in what counts as real manhood. Your man should be secure enough that he need not assert how manly he is by downing ten kegs of beer or by saying the F word in the most astig way possible, or by being mayabang about everything. let me tell you men, there is no astig way of saying the F word, and we’d be more impressed by a man who says “no” because it is wiser to do so. now that’s manly.

3. He’s firm, but he’s never harsh

Ladies, your man should be able to lead you. He should consciously make decisions with the awareness that he is the leader in the relationship. this comes with firmness, and a strong set of convictions that will define where he stands, where you both stand in your relationship. when he decides on something, he commits to it fully but don’t mistake being firm to being harsh.

4. He has self-control

“But flee from these things, you man of God, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness.” (I Tim. 6:11)

When he gets mad, how does he react? What are the things that he do? Is he able to restrain himself? It takes a lot for a man to restrain himself and to hold back when he’s angry or provoked, but it definitely marks a real man. This will also manifest in your relationship. when you’re upset and you do not want to speak, how does he deal with it? Does he shout at you? Does he throw things around? ┬áMen, that won’t get a girl to speak. A man who knows how to just sit beside his girl, hold her until she’s ready to talk, and give and accept apologies and plenty of i love you’s, that’s a man of self-control. Needless to say, a man of self-control can say no to temptations and sin and that’s the man every girl needs.

5. He has one big fear

Proverbs 19:23 ESV
The fear of the Lord leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm.

This should be at the top of your list. For a man who has the fear of God in him, a man who has a relationship with the God of the universe, is the man who, by God’s grace, is brave, secure, firm and has self-control. He will love God above you, but you will be far from jealous. Instead, his love from God will spill over to you, and you will feel like you’re the most beautiful lady in the whole wide universe. because you are, according to him.

Editor’s note: Let’s get involved and use the #husbandmaterial in your tweets and share the qualities of a #husbandmaterial


Ching is a happily married freelance web content writer, and wife to wedding photographer gail bitoon. She blogs at Everyday Sunday, where she tells of her daydreams, thoughts on God, relationships, and how excited she is about her growing baby bump.


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