Four Questions I would often ask before a Major Decision

Taking Manhood Back

Four Questions I would often ask before a Major Decision

We will all be going through some major decisions in our lives. It could be a change of career, starting a family, getting married, moving out of your parent’s house, taking a job that is not your expertise, putting your money in an investment, buying a house and other thousands of major life decisions we have to make.

When I am about to make one, I ask myself this four crucial questions:

1. Why?

Why makes me think about my motives. Why do I want to get married? Why do I want to put my money in that investment? Why do I want to plant a church?

As you answer the why honestly (and I do mean honestly), your heart and motives are exposed. When I asked a friend why he wants to join politics, he gave me a straight answer – it was an honest answer but it had wrong motives.

When I was getting married I asked why? Is it because I am willing to lay down my life and love this woman sacrificially as Christ loved me or is it because I am a man in need of someone to love me and thus getting married completes me. The first thought was selfless love, my second thought was selfish. I had to wrestle with God on this issue because it exposed something in my heart. Until I was able to decide that I am going to marry Thammie because I want to love her did I took the step of faith and married her.

I do investments. Before I would do it because I wanted more money. When you ask me why I want to invest, I’ll give you a straight answer. I want to be really rich. It was all about me. Greed was written all over my face. God had to change me. I lost most of my money in an investment I made 8 years ago. It hurt so bad but it realigned me to what God wants and not what I want. So now, before I make an investment. I ask myself – WHY?

Once the WHY is answered honestly I go to the next question.


Once the motive of the heart is aligned to what Christ wants, I have to ask this question that people tend not to ask because they are afraid. Why not? Why not even if others say it won’t work?

Have you ever made plans that people just dismissed as a bad plan – doomed to failure. I have. The question you need to ask is why not? Why not do it? Why not test the impossible or the risky? Why not make a difference? Why not marry? Why not build your financial portfolio? Why not change the world? Why not get into a project that requires faith?

People who are not afraid to ask the WHY NOT are the people who are able to know the answer to the question.

And thirdly I ask myself: WHY NOT ME?

Instead of pointing fingers and volunteering others – why not me? Don’t look around the room. Look at the mirror. As what the famous philosopher Michael Jackson wrote, ” If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make that CHANGE.”

And lastly ask WHY NOT NOW?

The difference between bad leaders and great leaders is not the lack of vision, according to a recent study of CEOs but EXECUTION. Why not now? While everybody is happy with their idea that might change the world, ideas that are not acted upon is wishful thinking. It won’t change the world. People who change the world are acting upon their passion and burden now!!!

I had a conversation with someone whose dream is to be a public speaker. So I encouraged her to pursue her passion by reading books on public speaking, exposing herself to seminars and talks and start building a platform. That was two years ago. She is still not speaking publicly – why? She answered the first three whys but failed to answer WHY NOT NOW? She hasn’t made an effort to build her platform for her dreams to be launched. She missed a vital factor to make it come to pass. She needed to act on it.