Process Her Thoughts
In the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: Practical Guide for Improving Communication, author John Grey says that men are like toolboxes. We compartmentalize things. Women on the other hand are like handbags.
Men have you seen what is in the handbag. It is a black hole of women’s stuff. It is all mixed together. When my wife tells me to get her brush in her bag, I dread it because I don’t know what my hands would touch. There are gazillion of stuff in a woman’s handbag. In the same way, women thinks like that. Everything is connected as in everything.
Yes Adam’s sin is connected to why you are overweight. Yes, Elvis Presley’s mysterious death and why you forgot to buy the groceries she told you to buy are connected.
We men cannot understand this. We are actually frustrated when they share their feelings to us because we can see the solution already while they continue to cry in desperation. The problem is that when you give the solution they get irritated. After more than 6 years, I realized women don’t want your solutions – they have their girlfriends to do that for them.
What they want is your empathy. They want to be heard by the man of their life. They need to know that you care. I am still learning how to do this and I could honestly say I do fail miserably in this area but with time and experience I am getting the hang of it.
When I asked my wife how I could help her in future cases where her mind is confused, she told me something that I know will help us men of all ages to deal with our woman. PROCESS with HER.
I know there is no other quick fix solutions. Processing with her would take time, hours, days, months but process with her. Sit down and process. Don’t get mad, frustrated or impatient. Process with her. Ask her questions. Feel her. Empathize with her. Get to her heart. Listen to her don’t just watch her. By the way if you are to do this, you need supernatural intervention from Jesus. Seriously.
At the end of the day, you will be with this woman. So know her and help her process. Don’t give the solution. PROCESS.