All good relationships require space.
I remember also reading this in John Gray’s book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: Practical Guide for Improving Communication. John Gray said men are like rubber bands. Give it space and he comes back with a bang, stronger than ever.
I think there is some truth in this. I’ve been with Thammie almost everyday for the past 8 years. There are times when I know I need my space – that means no asking of how my day went or a report of how her day went. It is actually a very rare occasion for us to ask for space – I could say 4x a year.
Space doesn’t mean I have to go somewhere far to be with me. It might mean just going to a bookstore or be in the coffee shop and read my favorite book. I think that space gives us a time to breathe and reflect.
Our wife needs her space too. She works hard at home, she home schools the kids, she does the chores – so she needs space also. Allowing her to go out and be with her girlfriends, give her some money for her beauty treatment or spa, leave her in a coffeeshop to read and just do her thing … helps her a lot.
Space is a reality that my wife cannot fully satisfy and complete me. Jesus is my fulfillment as a man. Space actually reminds me that I cannot find everything from my spouse. I love to be with her but I know I also need time alone to be with me and with God and vice versa.
So to every man reading this and also to every wife and girlfriend reading this – get to the core reason why we all need space – because even if I have to break it hard to you, Tom Cruise was wrong – your spouse won’t complete you, Jesus will.
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