Reflections after 8 years of Marriage
Today we celebrate our 8th year anniversary as husband and wife. After 8 wonderful years of marriage, here are 8 valuable lessons I’ve learned in marriage.
Taken 8 years ago…… payat ko pa!!!
1. Your spouse needs to be your best friend. Not just any friend – but your closest friend – somebody who knows you from the inside out. Somebody who you can be vulnerable with.
2. Your appreciation level should be higher than your expectation level. Words of appreciation is far more helpful than nagging your spouse for unmet expectations. All relationships have expectations but to expect and expect and not appreciate your spouse would turn the relationship to a debtee and debtor relationship. Instead of I LOVE YOU’s it would be more of I OWE YOU SOMETHING all the time.
3. Enjoy each other. There is a time to be serious and get busy but there should also be time for relaxation and recreation and this applies to romance and sex also. Have some shared activities with your spouse and have fun as you journey in your marriage.
4. Communication is vital. Never under estimate date nights where you actually talk as a couple. Most of the time we get busy and we tend to throw conversations with our spouse first because we are tired. Make a decision to actually talk about things that matters to you and share what is in your heart.
5. Draw out her emotions. As husbands, it is our role to draw out the emotions of our spouse. I am not telling you to be Mr. Phil, but learn how to listen and process with your wife. This is actually hard and I am on my 8th year and I am still learning. Ask your wife how you can help her when she is processing her thoughts and emotions.
6. I’m sorry has more impact than I love you. Couples have a hard time saying sorry. We can say I love you easily and we can even fake it but sorry is a heavy word for a lot of couples that they can’t even say it even if they don’t mean it. I am not saying fake it till it becomes real because your spouse can smell a fake apology but rather move in humility and say sorry when you know you are wrong. Humility saves marriages.
7. A good father does not necessarily mean you are a good husband. You have to make a distinction, not because you are okay with your kids means you are okay with your spouse. Men, your wife is your priority. Love your kids but make sure your kids know that mommy is your #1 priority.
8. The gospel of Jesus Christ changes everything. You can know all the rules and techniques of marriage, you might be a fan of marriage books and seminars but what totally changed our marriage is an understanding of who we are in Christ. When we realized we are sinful and flawed more than we ever dared believed but loved and accepted by God more than we ever dared hope for – it changes you. It makes you more forgiving, it makes you love your spouse differently. Your marriage is no longer based on performance but on the grace of God. It makes you love your wife more with sincerity.
Thank you Thammie for 8 wonderful years and thank you Jesus for making marriage worth treasuring.