While there is a growing trend among singles to have sex before marriage and we are bombarded with movies, novels with sex before marriage is okay message, what are the deeper implications and even meaning of the shift in our culture today when it comes to virginity and our perspective on it?
In one of the recent articles in Rappler on What Men Want, columnist Ana Santos asked the question, “Is Virginity still important today?”
Here are the answers:
Answer #1: At a certain age, yes.
Answer #2: I wouldn’t want to be with a virgin.
Answer #3: No. It’s really more of the person.
So what does this actually mean for men and women today.
AT A CERTAIN AGE, YES.
That means I will be morally responsible not to have sex with a minor but once she develops her body I can have sex with her. I think men need to become a father of daughters to know how distorted this statement is.
ME: My princess, I want you to be a virgin till you are 16 okay.
Daughter: But dad, I don’t want to have sex with a man who is not my husband!!!
ME: No it is okay to have sex when you are 17 years old. Trust me, some dude wrote that in an article. Sex is not that sacred. Virginity is a thing of the past. Go and have sex every time you wish too, okay.
I WOULDN’T WANT TO BE WITH A VIRGIN
Yeah a virgin wouldn’t want to be with you. The problem with sex before marriage is the thinking that I need to first check out if she is good in bed and then make a decision. The statement made above is a prevailing mindset among men who think they are God’s gift to women. It is a selfish stance to make. It makes sex one sided. If you don’t have sex with me – then this won’t work. This is the height of selfishness.
Don’t get me wrong – sex is good but we have distorted God’s plan for sex which by the way God created for married people to enjoy.
With the rise of sex before marriage – comes the rise of dysfunctional relationships, teenage pregnancy, aids, and the objectification of women. It is funny how a lot of groups are fighting for women’s right but never put too much emphasis on how culture is dehumanizing women.
Women are not sex toys. Women don’t ever think for a second that you can be used for a man’s pleasure. Sex is mutual fulfillment and mutual sacrifice. It means before a man engages in sex with you – he needs to be committed to you and the only way his commitment is sealed is through marriage. Call me old fashion and out dated but I still believe the greatest sex is done in the boundaries of marriage. It is selfless love.
NO, IT’S REALLY MORE OF THE PERSON
Our view of sex says a lot about us as a person. Sex and the person are intertwined. When you have sex with someone you are having sex with a person. Again it shows how men tend to treat women as objects and not people.
1Cor. 6:16 And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.”
Wow – only marriage and sex can unite two people into one. Something supernatural happens when two people have sex. They become one. Couples can eat together and not be united. Couples can play together and nothing happens. But a couple who has sex – they are being united as one. This is a very crucial principle when it comes to sex. This applies to sex in marriage and sex outside marriage but both have different effects and results.
So again its really about the person and the person you are having sex with is a person.