Resetting My Marriage Priorities
There was a time in our marriage that I almost forgot that I had a wife. It was during a long season when my leadership was being stretched as the leader of the church. There were endless meetings, more people to counsel and messages to preach. And what seemed like a noble cause ( pastoring a church), I started neglecting what is important in my life – my family.
So there were 2 choices – continue with work and help save the world or cut down on some hours at work and save my marriage and my family.
You see the problem with the first option is to think that God cannot make it work without you. It is what we men usually do – finding our identity in our work and the status we get for a job well done. When God told Noah to build the ark to preserve his family and save the people who wanted to go with him, God made sure his family was on board. To save the world, he had to save his family first.
So in light of my predicament, Thammie and I made a decision to reset our priorities (or my priorities) because it was taking its toll on my marriage, my time and my health.
Here are the things we decided:
1. A date night each week. We have improved by adding that our dates should not be always movies or just eating out but really have a time to communicate and connect.
2. Away from home only 2 to 3 nights a week. It means I go home for dinner 4x a week and tuck my kids to sleep.
3. Thammie to have a say in my schedule. That means she knows my schedule and has the right to say if work is taking too much of my time. By doing this, you are including your wife in your life.
I love how Jim Burns said it. “The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”
It is still a work in progress for both of us. How about your marriage? Are there some resetting of priorities you need to do?
I highly recommend you read the book Creating an Intimate Marriage: Rekindle Romance Through Affection, Warmth and Encouragement by Jim Burns