Last Sunday, we talked about worshipping God in times that we fall in sin. Chinkee Tan, said that the very first thing that King David did when Nathan pointed out his sin of adultery towards Bathsheba was to ADMIT his mistake.
Admission is not a sign of weakness, in fact, admission is sign of worship, said Chinkee, referring to Psalm 51, a Psalm David wrote in repentance to his sin.
I’m not writing this to relate admission to worshipping or anything along those lines. In fact I wrote this in the context of relationships. me and my wife has been married for just a little over 3 months today, but we, like all young couples, already had some share of major fights. In fact this month, we had one.
I don’t know about other men, but, I think one of the hardest part in conflicts is to admit my mistake. Before God, before others and before my wife. I feel like if I admit, that I am the one to blame for the whole mess. I feel like I’d be less of the “good” husband that I am if I did. I know it’s necessary, but I never thought it would be necessary for me.
Long story short, I had to come to God and admit; I had to send that text message to one of my mentors and be accountable about the mess I made and eventually, after a meeting with them as a couple, I admitted my fault in front of my wife.
Admission takes a lot more courage than I imagined. but it is worth it. It frees you from guilt and it definitely is NOT for the faint of heart. I thank God that He gave me that strength to do it, because left alone, I would have kept things to myself and probably made matters worse for both of us. People close to me knows that I am not the type who easily asks for help, let alone admit my mistakes. But I did…I call this God’s grace.
I pray that men start to make use of the awesome privilege of mentorship and accountability in the church. Admitting to yourself and to your partner that you need mentoring shows that you value the relationship more than you value your pride. Mentoring or counselling won’t happen without admission first.
Men, in relationships, here’s one hard fact: we cannot do this alone. You need people around that relationship. People who have been there who wants to help you not to make the same mistakes. It is time for us to start owning up to those mistakes and, by God’s grace, muster the courage to…ADMIT that we need help.