Courtship is the period in a couple’s relationship which precedes their engagement and marriage, or establishment of an agreed relationship of a more enduring kind. During courtship, a couple get to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement or other such agreement.
Almost two years ago, I learned the art of playing my relationships fair. I learned the value of laying down my clear intentions to the woman I liked- the intention of getting to know her more for the purpose of marriage. For me, laying down one’s intentions to a woman they like, is a leap of faith specially for men who have been so used to the world’s culture of vague commitments and unclear intentions. I never really understood these things until I realized that I can potentially hurt a woman (i.e. defraud her emotions) by abusing our friendship and doing “sweet” things to her with unclear goals. It is equally unfair even if the woman is allowing it to happen. Now that I am married, hearing stories of single men manning up and risking being rejected just to tell the girl they’d like to pursue her is something that brings a smile to my heart.
That means that this man is willing to face rejection. It also means that this man likes the girl enough for him to pursue her formally, no grey areas, and with clear intentions. Often, it brings me joy to hear that such pursuit ends up in happy endings, like the recent engagements and weddings of my close friends.
Unfortunately, not all pursuit ends there. This is why it is called courtship because there are times when things happen that can cause the woman to say no. (He or) She may have seen reasons why the relationship may not work out. It is best if the NO comes earlier, when not much emotions have been invested yet- but regardless, a NO is still rejection. Now, this is where the smile in my heart turns into a salute of honor.
I honor men, who, in the face of hurt and rejection still honors the woman who rejected them. I honor the men who run to God for comfort and wisdom during times of rejection. I honor men who value the season of waiting and improving themselves until God brings them to their next pursuit. These men, I believe are men who will be good husbands or fathers someday. These are the men who choose to respect women the way they ought to be respected- and soon enough, they would learn the value of loving them too.
So, if you are one of these men. Kung isa ka sa mga nag lay down ng intentions at na reject, or isa ka sa mga nanligaw at nasaktan…Brother, God sees your heart and coming from a brother in Christ, I salute you for being fair and for honoring our sisters in Christ.
PS: Bro, if you feel alone this Valentine’s come join us sa Victory Greenhills, we have groups for men who can potentially become real friends in Christ who may share the same stories as you. See you!