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Relationship Tip: Decide Before You Feel

It was the first time I heard someone said it and she was pertaining to me. Thammie told me when we got engaged that she never felt that loving feeling towards me that love songs would describe or movies would depict. I couldn’t believe my ears. I said that was impossible. With my gorgeous face and cute eyes, how can you not fall for a guy like me? ( now for those who don’t get it, I’m being sarcastic)

dennis sy thammie sy

Anyway, she stood by her story for the longest time. At one point, I was questioning why she would feel that way or more accurately not feel that way towards me. It was funny how insecure I am, when she had decided at that time to enter into marriage with me. Para bang gusto mong pilitin na dapat kinilig ka sa akin bago ka umoo sa marriage proposal ko. She would always say, “deciding to love you and live with you for the rest of my life is far more greater than the loving feeling a lot of people get.”

Now after 9 years of marriage, I think I finally got it. In fact, I got it while doing the message that I was going to deliver two Sundays ago. A verse from Isaac and Rebekah’s love story hit me right smack in the center of my being.

Genesis 24:67 Then Isaac brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother and took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her. 

Notice the sequence in the verse above. Isaac took Rebekah as his wife and then he loved her. Today’s culture is different – loving feeling first before marriage.

I am not saying that feeling the love first is wrong. What I am pointing out is the powerful principle that love is a decision. When Thammie loved me, she first decided – not with her emotions alone but with her heart. This is the man I am going to love, submit and serve for the rest of my life, for better or for worst, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.

I also made that decision 9 years ago when I married her. I decided to love her no matter what. Good days or bad days, fight days or harmonious days, stormy days or sunny days. All year round, every minute, every second.

Think about the relationship you are in now. Is it run by emotions or is it dictated by a decision to love the other person – for better or for worst.

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