Sometimes I am happy that my wife haven’t read those articles that says “Top 10 things to look for in a man” when I was pursuing her. I would have failed a lot of items in those lists. Even today, I look at them and I cringe.
A few days ago my wife and I were talking about our past lives. We have very different pasts. Hers is a more careful and obedient walk with very little rash decisions versus mine,that is made up of a lot of mistakes. I do plan a lot, but I plan selfishly. We were just amazed at God’s faithfulness to me despite messing up with my past relationships. So let me go ahead and answer the question: Am I my wife’s ideal man…I doubt.
I think a man can never be “ideal” enough no matter how good he is. There will always be something to say sorry about, there will always be broken hearts. I guess the secret is just that. We knew that we are broken individuals. It was in our personal and individual brokenness that we realized we couldn’t really depend on another person to make us whole and complete. That is when the real hero of our love story came. That’s when God started making us whole individually. God taught us how to depend on Him for our needs to be loved, affirmed and secured. Something that couples normally get from each other- eventually siphoning everything, and sadly one ends somehow empty and on the loosing end. For us though, we knew that we have been made whole by Someone who has more to give than both of us. This is not because we sought God more than others- it was because God is in the constant business of seeking people out and that included us.
On second thought, maybe she have read those “ideal man” articles after all. But maybe, she just chose to accept the man that I was and at the same time, saw the man that I can become. I guess, real love, somehow, emptied her of her idealistic views? I am a better man today because of the trust and love she shared with me. I am not perfect. I am only better.
In the end, couples can only expect so much towards their partners but the only promise both of them can hold on to is that, God is making beautiful love stories out of the dust of our past mistakes.