As I spent more minutes looking at the picture of a dead Guillo Servando, an 18-year old Benilde student with massive black blood clots all over the back of his thighs, my thoughts run to and fro.
Here’s a boy who will miss every family meal. A man that will never walk up the stage and be joined by his parents for his hard-earned diploma. A boy that will never marry his sweetheart and raise a family of his own.Lifeless and dead—because of fraternity hazing. All that, just to belong in a group of men.
Any man needs to belong somewhere, whether it’s a car group, hiking group, running group, biking group, drinking group, a rotary, an association, etc… We were all made to BELONG to some group of men—and it always felt great to belong in one!
I used to live for many years BELIEVING my group(AND THE STUFF WE WERE DOING) made me MORE OF A MAN. But believe me, you outgrow them when you SEE a better kind of men.
To the YOUNGER boys ALIVE, (I know this is easier said than done), but know that there are OTHER ROADS TO TAKE. Other groups of men that you can BELONG TO, with as much or even more testosterone that you can ever handle.
To the OLDER men ALIVE(WHO HAVE A BETTER ALTERNATIVE THAN DEEP PURPLE BLOOD CLOTTED THIGHS). Take another boy under your wing. Influence him the best you can. Show him a better world of masculine respectability. You will never believe the impact it will make in his life!
While in the land of the living, I’ll take this chance to say THANK YOU for the men who encouraged me to take a better road:)
Thank you DANIEL, for the courage to confront me 14 years ago and tell me straight that my life was going nowhere and that I needed help…
To JEREMY, thank you for showing me why my words and belief had no power, and showing me first-hand what to do with the little, dry faith.
To BANJO, you are heaven-sent! No one gives me more confidence in fighting spiritual battles with such a fierce warrior like you leading me up front.
To ERICKSON, for skillfully and patiently mentoring me on my terrible flaws on relationships, and teaching me how to understand people better.
To DENNIS and JAYSON, thank you for leading me not with superiority, but serving me in broken humility, teaching me rage & shouting should not be tolerated, and a million gold nuggets in family life.
To JOEL, there are people that fade without nurturing, but you have been so faithful as a friend I think you’re more than a brother–you’re alien! Thanks for being there for me in and out of season!
To all the younger boys in schools out there, take a closer look, there are a lot of successful and RESPECTED hard-working men left and right who did NOT need blood-clotted thighs. NEITHER DO YOU.
Help us lead our boys to a better path.