One Tough Decision
I grew up in church. Literally, I was in church all the time. Whole day Sunday, half day saturday, friday youth groups, wednesday bible studies. I was a religious devout Christian. I know how to talk like a Christian, walk like a Christian and do everything Christian. But in spite of all the Christian vibe that I exude, deep inside – I was struggling. Struggling with pride, lust, insecurity. In short, I was like everybody else.
My pastor told me that there needs to be a distinction and so I played the part externally but I was falling apart inside. I knew all the verses, I was the Bible ambassador of our school, I was KUYA DENNIS – the man you can trust. It is different when I am alone in my room. I had skeletons in my closet. Nobody knows because I tried hard to conceal it. But God knows and I thank God He knows.
He send some radical Christians in the likes of Pastor Ferdie Cabiling, Pastor Rommel Cervantes and my Bible teacher Jojo Chan. They got in my face and could smell a pretender from a far. I couldn’t hide the fact that I am struggling with this Lordship stuff. You see, it’s easy to play the game of Christianity. Speak some Christianese, wear a Christian shirt, close your eyes during worship and get involve in ministry but I don’t know how long I could put up an act.
When I started seeing other Christians living out their faith – something was ignited in me. I need this. I cannot afford not to have what they have. Their was fire in them that I long and I know the only way to get that was to surrender. To humble myself and repent. To acknowledge that apart from Christ I am nothing. That Christianity is not performing but living out the faith. God has given us the Holy Spirit to live holy lives. Christ died to set me free. I know all this.
All I needed to do was surrender and let Jesus take control. Sounds easy right? But it was hard until you come to a point of desperation. It will be a crossroad. Choose to act godly externally or choose to be transformed from the inside out. I am glad that with all the seeds of the Bible, discipleship and experiences I had with the Lord, He gave me the power to choose Lordship. It reminds me of Joshua when he said,
And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
We have a choice. We decide. Choose to make Jesus lord of all or not at all.
Our church is doing a series on our Core Values. Lordship is one of them. Check out these other interesting Lordship blogs.
- Lord and Lordship by Carla “Rica” Peralejo Bonifacio
- When Obeying Meant Letting Go by Val Baguios III
- Releasing Forgiveness and Putting God in Control by Fiona Alvero (I think a lot of people can relate to this.)
- His Higher Ways by Karess Rubrico (Jesus is Lord over the call centers!)
- Passion for passion by Ganns Dean (so colorful!)
- Lordship? BIG WORD! by Jek Valle (See a picture of Lord!)