I learned this powerful principle about marriage from my pastor, Steve Murrell. During one of our couple’s retreat, he mentioned that there is no such thing as a marriage problem. Whoa! I have heard almost every couple we helped in marriage that they have a marriage problem. So why is this a myth?
IS THERE REALLY SUCH A THING AS A MARRIAGE PROBLEM?
When people enter marriage, they come with sets of culture, both good and bad, to the relationship. They also come with personal problems like pride, lust, bitterness, anger issues, laziness and not being vulnerable and trusting in any relationship. That means when a person enters into marriage, he enters it with some of his personal problems that might crop out somewhere between day 1 of marriage or in the 3rd year of marriage or on their 25th wedding anniversary.
Let me give you an example: I have pride issues. This did not happen when I said I DO to Thammie. It was there all along and monster pride became more exposed in our marriage.
Some might have lust issues. They were not tempted the day they entered marriage. It was there all along and they thought getting married would solve their lust issues but it won’t. Only God can change us. So it comes out in the form of flirting with an ex girlfriend in social media, or getting hooked in pornography or even committing adultery.
In short, you don’t have a marriage problem. You have a sin problem and no amount of marriage tips can help you transform. Pastors can give you some tips to help improve your marriage but the only one who can solve your problem is Jesus.
Only Jesus can feel the loneliness.
Only Jesus can satisfy you that lust can’t give.
Only Jesus can turn your mourning into dancing.
Only Jesus can give you the grace to be humble.
Only Jesus can turn things around for you when you are in a dead end.
You have to realise it will never be a marriage problem – it is a personal problem that only God can solve absolutely.