I have been a firm believer before that when a couple has a great sex life – then are okay. How could anything go wrong if a married couple are sexually active with each other. I have heard and read some books, preachings and articles that sort of espouses this kind of thinking. And again it is a myth.
A year ago I was talking with a couple who would always fight and hurt each other. At first, I said this would be easy. I assumed they were not having sex or they have an unhealthy sex life. But I was about to be schooled when they told me that they just had sex before the big fight. WHAT!!!!????
They told us they were ok in the area of sex but not in marriage. It was then that I realize that what makes marriage work is not the act of sex or the act of staying together but the spirit behind the action.
You could have an active sex life but if the motive is that you want it to satisfy you and not thinking about your spouse – then it is done is selfishness.
You could be helpful to your spouse for a long time but deep inside there are resentments with you serving because you feel like it is not reciprocated so you start getting bitter with your spouse rather than continue loving and serving him/ her.
You could be doing things to please your spouse because you also have your own selfish agenda.
Great marriages happen when both understand that marriage is not just about one person sacrificing but both being sacrificial. It is mutual sacrifice and mutual commitment. It takes two to tango. In Christian marriage – it takes three.
GOD, YOU and YOUR SPOUSE. The only way to serve and love your spouse selflessly is to look to Christ who loved us in spite of all our sins and rebellion. Jesus came to serve not to be served. It is that agape love that transformed us and it is the same kind of love that will transform your marriage.
Below is my preaching on Marriage. hope it helps you: