I love reading books. I love learning but I realised that when it comes to manhood it takes more than academics to learn it. Manhood is more doing than reading. Manhood is more impartation than instruction.
It’s like a man who wanted to learn how to swim so he bought a book called SBASKETBALL FOR DUMMIES. After reading the book, he tried playing basketball and failed miserably. Why? Reading a book on how to play basketball and actually playing organized basketball is different. Same with manhood.
You don’t just read my blog or read my book on manhood and expect that you become a manly man. Men learn about manhood by doing and the example of others.
I’ve learned manhood by observing my dad, my pastors and mentors I look up to. I learn more about fatherhood from my friend Paolo Punzalan – than from reading a book on fatherhood. I learned more about manhood from Pastor Ferdie Cabiling than reading a book on manhood. I learned more about leadership from seeing Pastor Steve Murrell at work than reading leadership classics.
“Oddly, when society wants men to be better men, it gives them books and sends them to class. This has given us male spectators. It has not given us better men.” – Stephen Mansfield
When we were studying Manhood Maxim #3, I challenged our men’s group to start living and celebrating a culture of discipleship among men in church. By doing rather than merely studying, we create a culture. Our men in church would feed on the culture that our men leaders would live out. MAN SEE- MAN DO. Only when we live out a culture of biblical manhood in church will the culture of biblical manhood spread.
One of the most memorable manhood I learned from my dad was when he was politicised in an organisation he was part of. He was to be the next president but then a rich man decided to pay his way to become the next president of the organisation. Instead of my dad sulking and complaining and making a scene – he just got out of the way and choose to be productive in other ways. Eventually he won the respect of many and was promoted in another organisation. I knew he was greatly affected by the politics in the organisation but instead of rebelling, he chose to be pro-active and join another organisation without making any fuss about the situation. That scene of my dad moving in honour would forever affect how I will view leadership and manhood.
Let me end with a quote from chapter 3 of the book:
“The same is true with men as a whole. All it takes for a contagious manly culture to form is for one genuine man to live out genuine manhood. It creates a model, something for other men to feed upon and pattern themselves after. It also gives other genuine men a vital connection that sustains and extends who they are.” – Stephen Mansfield