In order to be biological fathers, men simply need to be male, but to be real fathers, they need to be masculine – Douglas Wilson from the book Father Hunger: Why God Calls Men to Love and Lead Their Families
I was talking to a man whose wife is about to give birth. They were having some marital problems and he actually committed adultery. I asked him – how is your sex life? He said it was actually not a problem. You see I have to make a retract of my male doctrine. Before, I would always ask a struggling couple how there sex life is because I thought your sex life is proportionate to how happy you can become as a couple. The more sex – the happier you are. Well, experience shows that it is not really the case. On the same day, a couple approached me asking for help because the man was consistently hitting his wife and the last one happened a few hours ago after having sex…..
To be a man takes more than sex. It doesn’t matter how good you are in bed if your masculinity sucks. Real fathers and real men need to show the stuff they are made of. It’s not the muscles and how long you can fart or how you can command your wife but rather on how you can cultivate your wife, your kids, your career and your business. It is about showing true masculine character by providing for your family and giving them security. It is protecting them when someone wants to hurt them and not you hurting them and they feeling unprotected.
Sex is actually easy and simple. Manhood takes a lot of maturity. To be a boy is to not accept responsibility. To be a man is to level up and live up to our biblical role to protect, provide and nurture the people God has entrusted to us.
Brother, you are not just a sex machine.