Why Relationships Get Complicated
Have you ever wondered what made Facebook create a status called it’s complicated and surprisingly more and more people are defining their relationship as complicated. Is complicated the new norm? According to Tara Parker-Pope who wrote the New York TImes article “THE HAPPY MARRIAGE IS A ME MARRIAGE”
The notion that the best marriages are those that bring satisfaction to the individual may seem counterintuitive. After all, isn’t marriage supposed to be about putting the relationship first? Not anymore. For centuries, marriage was viewed as an economic and social institution, and the emotional and intellectual needs of the spouses were secondary to the survival of the marriage itself. But in modern relationships, people are looking for a partnership, and they want partners who make their lives more interesting.
What she is basically saying is that marriage used to be about us, but today it is all about me. And it is completely fine?
Now I think this is where the source of complication lies. We think everything revolves around us. In one word, we have become SELFISH. It means I have the right to say to my partner – you adjust to me while not applying the same expectation on you.
Imagine for a moment if all relationships are based on what I want and what you can give to me – then all relationships are doomed to fail because nobody can be that perfect for someone. Only Christ can give what we are expecting from our spouse/ partner.
So to make things uncomplicated – we have to experience first the unconditional, selfless love that God offers. We get our life in that love. We learn to live for the other and not for ourselves. We start to experience sacrificial love and life is no longer about me but about us and what I can give rather than what I can take.