For a long time, I was what you called a weekend Christian. I acted like a holy leader during youth prayer meetings and Sunday Mass, but on normal days I was a crazy sinner. I tried to justify that it was okay for me to commit sexual sin, like watching pornography, because unlike other guys, I wasn’t addicted to it. I only did it every once in a while.
As my mentors further discipled me, that mindset changed and my character started to improve. This made me commit to a life of integrity and true manhood. My growth and transformation was very much tested when I started the relationship I now have with Viv. I remember the first time I saw her. It was like time stopped, and the background blurred out. That’s how beautiful I found her. I knew that I wanted to start something special and genuine with her.
In the beginning of our relationship, we kissed with smacks on the lips rationalizing that we wouldn’t go further than that. IT WAS REALLY HARD because I absolutely adored her. As time passed, it got even harder for me to maintain self-control. One day, I was reminded about the story of how my leader, Bo Sanchez, kissed his wife Marowe for the first time on their wedding day. Although I knew that it was the right thing to do, I told myself, “Only Bo can do it and not me.”
But God responded by saying, “You also have what it takes to be a great man.” I couldn’t argue with God. So I talked to Viv and told her how much I loved her. I expressed that I was certain that she’s the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and I just honestly wanted to be a good man for God. So I promised her that the next time I kiss her would be at the altar. I know today that God’s will is being honored because of the decision we made.
Let me share to you 3 reasons why I stopped kissing my girlfriend, and how it has blessed our relationship.
1. I love her
I promised myself, Viv and God that I will love her just as Jesus loved his church. That I will die to myself for her, and one way of dying to myself is by not kissing her until we are married.
2. I honor her
She’s the love of my life. One way I want to honor my love is by keeping her and our relationship pure.
3. I want to marry her
When I started courting Viv, I promised her that I was in it for the long haul, that my relationship with her was not an experiment, but a journey that I wanted to take with her. I believe, one day soon, I’ll be able to kiss her with God’s permission. I’m excited for the day I could kiss her as my wife.
As I end, I want to share to you how this one simple killer move has been blessing our relationship.
We don’t kiss, so we have a lot of time to talk and look into each other’s eyes. This has helped us peel away the layers and see the essence of our relationship. Viv enjoys this a lot because I am able to focus fully on her, which makes her feel heard and validated.
We are able to enjoy our time together by learning about each other’s interests. This helps with keeping our weekly dates exciting and it strengthens our bond as a couple.
Lastly, as a man, I’m really thankful that because we have become better friends, we are able to trust each other more.
I’m proud to say that she doesn’t police my every move, asking me all the time where I am or what I’m doing. She doesn’t check my phone or social media, or email.
I earned this trust through building friendship in our relationship, and I don’t want to break it.
Brother, more talk = more trust.
I believe you can do it as well! You have what it takes!